


there's an old man ( he stands between us and the end of the world )

by Niahara_Erskine



Series: Tales from the Primordial Soup [6]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Dialogue, Gen, Some Crack, bits and pieces that will never make it in the main story, others not really fitting in the main narrative, outtakes from hearts can be well-hidden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:52:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niahara_Erskine/pseuds/Niahara_Erskine
Summary: God and Lucifer commiserating about their Earth deployed agents, humanity as a whole and the pains of having annoying brothers ( in Lucifer's case ). Crack outtakes that never made it in "hearts can be well-hidden ( but you betray them with your words )"





	1. the End of the World knocks on his door ( once or twice a week )

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quesse](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=quesse).



> In the very beginning, when I started writing the story, "heart can be well-hidden" was supposed to be light-hearted and crackish banter between Lucifer and God. Needless to say, everything escalated quickly and it's anything but at the moment. However, I've decided to post these little extras here as a bit of a glimpse it how it used to sound life.

**1\. God and Lucifer ( chapter 3 )**

 

“Crawly. He will never be one of yours. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. He claims he did not so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards. Quite audacious if you ask me. But he did manage to do one spectacularly bad deed so I supposed I can let it slide.“

“So, what should we do with them?”

“Them? Did you not already cast them in the wilds? Do not tell me you have forgotten already. It will be several millenniums until I will allow you to use old age as an excuse.”

“No, not the humans. Our two wayward agents. My merciful angel and your beguiling demon.”

“Well, that’s hardly a question, is it not? It’s high time they got started on their true mission. Although, Crawly will receive a commendation for his exquisite job. I rather doubt any of the others would have been able to accomplish quite so much. Original Sin, indeed!”

“And I rather doubt any of mine would have failed quite as spectacularly as Aziraphale did in his first mission. Letting a demon in, giving away his sword and the lying about it. Children these days!”

 

**2\. God and Lucifer ( dropped idea )**

 

“Lightbringer! Mornignstar! However did they come up with this name? They have it all wrong. It was not I who lit the stars, but rather you. You, who painted them across the skies with your words. And I who shaped the black holes at their edges, who made suns implode and brought planets to ruin. Ludicrous! These humans are getting more and more creative as the ages pass by.”

“Well, it could have been worse. At least your title is not as terrible as the ones bestowed upon some of your henchmen. Think of poor Beelzebub! Lord of Flies, indeed. Do you think he is happy with his name? Or Crawly! And that one is your fault after all.”

“It’s Crowley now, apparently. He takes great pains in reminding us all of the fact.”

“Really? Even you?”

“I do not have direct contact with that pain in my back. But yes, even I have been reminded through the speakers of that damned car of his and in an incredibly groveling manner, mind you, that the name is no longer Crawly, but Crowley. Audacious! I should have chunked him back to you when he toppled Below. More pain than he’s worth. Does one impressive deed, invents Original Sin, gets humans kicked out of Eden and then he goes about stopping Apocalypses willy-nilly.”

“Well, you have to admit, the boy has style.”

“He does at that. As opposed to yours. Tartan, really?”

“Yes, well, angels were never known for their fashion sense. Got stuck with Antiquity’s style of clothing for several millenniums. And have you even seen the monstrosity Michael is wearing nowadays?”

 

**3\. Lucifer and Gabriel ( after the Apocalypse that wasn’t )**

 

“Your son almost destroyed the world because he wanted to save the whales. And then he changed his mind and refused to go with the plan and bring the Apocalypse. You must be so proud!”

“Gabriel, stop your incessant nattering in this moment. I am vexed enough as it is.”

“And that demon of yours. Crawly? Crowley? He wanted to stop the Apocalypse too. Even though he was supposed to further Hell’s plan and all that. He dumped holy water all over Ligur. That’s aside from him thinking gluing coins to the ground is proper demonic activity.”

“Shall I remind you that Aziraphale wanted to save the world because there would be no sushi in Heaven? And he’d have to listen to the Sound of Music all day long?”

“And that other duke of yours. Hastur, was it? What became of him? You know, after he stopped being caught in a tape for hours without end?”

“Gabriel, one more word…”

“And then Horsepeople got offed by a bunch of eleven years old. Oh yes and then your kid sent you back home when you were about to come to Earth because he didn’t really want his friends to meet daddy dearest.”

“YAHWEH! Come take your errant child from my premises before I snap and turn him into a FEATHER DUSTER!”


	2. love's like the wind ( it leaves wreckage where it blows )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before moving forth, there are still worth that need to be said, demons that need to be put to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small snippet of Lucifer and Gabriel taking place between chapters VI and VII of the main story.

There is a place in Heaven that remains untouched, a sad effigy to the destruction caused by a Great War. The tress stand felled, charred remnants of wood that had once spiraled mightily with branches entwining until they disappeared from sight. The ground is blackened, dead, no longer filled by stretches upon stretches of soft, green grass. It remains as remembrance and warning, a battlefield and a tombstone, the sight of Heaven’s greatest battle. It is a place most often avoided, one that sorrows even God to look at. And yet it is a place now thread, dead twigs and burned leaves creaking under sandal clad feet, the rustle of feathers echoing in the stillness.

“I had not thought to find you here,” silver eyes, weary and still pain filled, gaze in the distance towards a figure standing on the remnant of a temple. “I had not thought to find anyone here.” There is a scorch mark by his side, a thin line of ashen ground, jagged at the edges that speaks of Belial’s favored weapons. “Rumors were the Heavens are barred to the Fallen, are they not?”

“They are. But then again, I was never one of the Fallen to begin with, was I?” the figure finally answers, red eyes giving way to midnight blue, gold and silver hues coating a formerly black plumage. Lucifer turns, assuming the visage he had worn before the War had erupted, before his poisoned words had taken root in the souls of the fallen.

“You were one of us, before you took our memories. Nothing else would have mattered.” A hint of anger bursts in Gabriel’s voice, the relief of being able to remember overruled by the betrayal of the theft itself. “You made us hallow, Lucifer. There is a void inside, one that we all feel, but have no way of knowing why it’s there. A lingering ache that reminds us that we lost something, something precious. We agonized for so long wondering what it could have been and in all this time you held the answer.”

Hands curl into fists, nails biting in flesh trying to hide the soft tremor still lingering in newly healed limbs. “I remember now. I remember and I do not regret, but the others do not. Tell me how am I supposed to look them in the eye and lie, withhold this truth from them and keep them hurting? Tell me, because I do not know. I walk these plains of desolation by myself, because it is better than being with them and feeling like I am betraying them with each moment I keep my silence in their presence.”

“I could make you forget again. I could make it last this time, remove every single piece of my presence from your recollection, from my brothers’ memories. I could do it oh so easily and you would never know,” Lucifer ignores the way Gabriel’s face pales even more at the words, the flash of panic and the steps taken backwards, the resignation and bitterness flaring on fair features. The visage of the condemned upon seeing the executioner is one they hold dear. “Calm thyself Gabriel, I will not. I never quite could deny you anything, little brother, and though I know better this is yet another happenstance where I could not say no. I am merely offering you the option. But your struggle is one you must overtake yourself.”

He sighs, bitterness flaring on his features and for the briefest of moments he is once more as he had been during Heaven, the being in an archangel’s shape that had the courage to speak against the Father himself. “It was my folly, all of it. And it is you who must suffer. For this I apologize, Gabriel. I should not have made myself known to you, I should have kept the distance. But what is done is done; you have remembered, though I wish you had not and I will do nothing to change it. But, I still believe they are better off not knowing.”

“They would want to know. They would want to be whole again,” the archangel points out, the battle already lost yet trying nonetheless.

“Perhaps. And perhaps a time will come when I will reconsider my stance. But it is not now. I cannot be both their Enemy and their brother, Gabriel. And I cannot afford to be only their brother. Hence, I shall remain their Enemy and they will remain ignorant of our mutual past.”

He turns, the mask of the angel Lucifer falling and leaving behind the visage of the Adversary, red eyes and dark wings, features fair but terrible. “I merely wished to see you were whole once more. Now that I have seen, I need be on my way. But, Gabriel, know this?”

“Know what, brother?”

“If you have need of me, I will be there, for any of you. I have never forgotten our promise from ages ago.” Black wings unfurl in flight, the appendages giving birth to a small whirlwind in their wake. Once it disperses, Lucifer is gone, but in his place, remains one single midnight black feather, brimming with power.

Later, such a feather will always be seen tied to a messenger’s trumpet, always present whenever Gabriel leaves Heaven. And if others think to question its presence, to demand explanations for a feather of clear demonic origin, a single quelling look from Gabriel makes them hold their tongue.

After all, some secrets are worth keeping.   


	3. there is a worm at the heart of the tower ( that is why it will not stand )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small snippet about Lucifer's generals.

Leviathan is **envy.**

They say the devil wears high hells, but oh how they are wrong; it is Leviathan who wears them like a second skin, stilettos beating a staccato in the deep recesses of Hell, chaos erupting in her wake. Honeyed curls and emerald eyes, blood red nails and pouty lips, she is the green-eyed monster to whose embrace men and women alike easily succumb.

Beelzebub is **pride.**

He falls second, or perhaps he falls first, accounts can never quite get it right. But it is pride that marks his downfall, the same pride he nurtures in the ear of a Pharaoh that will see Egypt turned to ash before he gives in to the demands of Moses. Kings are toppled and empires fall to ruin, the might of the greatest turned to dust as he laughs and whispers in their ear, knowing that when they perish, it is in his hands they will arrive.

Asmodeus is **lust.**

It is believed that demons whisper from Hell, only the faintest echo of their words reaching the Earth and steering the hearts of men towards Sin. However, Asmodeus walks the land, charming and seductive, beguiling words pouring from a pleasant visage, arresting the minds of all those who stumble in his path. He is the knife that strikes in jealousy, the woman scorned who seeks retribution, the innocent falling with abandon in the arms of the depraved.

Amon is **wrath.**

Foul, where the others are fair, black eyed and fire clad, Amon merely needs to send a sliver of a thought towards humanity and it will summon the flames of War itself. The ground shakes at his passing, the chasms spew flames and all that linger in Hell flee from Amon’s vengeful path, while above wrath takes hold of human hearts, twists them and taints them, leads them down the path that will end in his domain. Humanity created War, it is true, but it is Wrath that keeps her alive.  


End file.
